I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
