Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
