he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We named our party play list daddy issues
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
