Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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