Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
