I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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