just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
