how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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