I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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