Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
