Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
