When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
