he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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