Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
