Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
pop tarts are not kleenex
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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