just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Girls should come with a carfax report
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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