I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
