my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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