shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
