So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
