Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Farmville is her only friend.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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