grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
