Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
