I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
