I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
