I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
