I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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