You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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