did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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