PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
