Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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