he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
