If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
