I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
