i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
