You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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