I'm so fucking centered right now
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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