we have pet lesbian snakes
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
