PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
