so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
