Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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