My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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