My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
