You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
