I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I puked a lego.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
