Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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