Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
