apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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