sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
