Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You smell like stripper and shame
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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