Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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